His and Hers

My wife recently asked me if I made offering to my ancestors alone, or if I petitioned her ancestors as well as mine during my rites. I pondered it for a moment, and then realised that I’d never given it much thought.

As household priest, Hearth-ward, Pater Familias, or whatever you want to call it, I see to our hearth and I make offerings on our behalf, for the continued sanctity and well-being of the home.

I consider my wife and I to be of equal footing in the home, so it isn’t as cut and dry as “You are head of house, your gods win by default.” But, because I am Heathen and she is not, it falls upon my shoulders to preserve the cult and see that our duties are upheld and offerings are made. A role I happily take on.

Perhaps, because our luck is so intertwined and we have become family, the distinction is wholly unnecessary, as my kin and hers are now a unified entity. I consider her people Sibb, just as she does mine. Her well-being affects my well-being and vice versa, so clear divisions between our familial dead make little sense in terms of purpose. I give to the ancestral head of household, the Cofgod(s), and they distribute this luck, this mægen, to the gathered dead, whoever they might be.

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